Why Pro-Lifers Are So Annoying (And Why You Should Maybe Be One)
Yes, yes, yes. I know. Please stop sending me emails about it. I thought I unsubscribed already. I know how many abortions they -- wait, 300,000 in one year? And only 2,000 adoption referrals the same year? Okay, but where did you get that figure -- some crank's website, right? Oh, it was from the Fact Sheet that Planned Parenthood put out? Are you sure? ...Yeah, okay...maybe I'll come...
I wish some Pro-Lifers didn't play fast and loose with their figures, or quote their enemies out of context. I wish some of them could afford websites that didn't make me want to gouge my eyes out in aesthetic horror, or proofreaders for their rambling, poorly-spelled emails. I wish some of them didn't post twenty articles to Facebook a day, all on the same subject, using an overabundance of capital letters.
(See? I can be a regular snob too, as well as a reverse snob. I contain multitudes.)
Anyway, for all of the above reasons, I was kind of surprised with myself when the email I got about 40 Days For Life somehow got me to register for a time slot in front of Glendale's Planned Parenthood.
Because, you know, it's not really my scene. I'm pretty content with just throwing out a stray Hail Mary for the cause now and then. I've been to these things before, because people have dragged me, but never on my own initiative.
The schedule said there were people signed up before and after us, but nobody was there when we arrived and nobody took our place when we left. Same story the Saturday after that.
Meanwhile, patients (clients? customers?) came and went. The place was pretty busy for a Saturday morning.
Sorry to be saying this again. It's been said a gajillion times, and like me, you're probably tired of hearing about the fact that horrible things are being done in our city every day. Like me, you're probably kind of used to it.
My point is: getting used to evil is not good.
Pro-Lifers annoy me, sure; but, as my family will tell you, that's not terribly hard to do. Just chewing the wrong way might be enough.
And they might have terrible grammar (some of 'em), but while I'm sitting at home and looking at FAIL Blog, they're out fighting the good fight. And unfortunately for me, I'm pretty sure that excellent grammar doesn't count for much, Judgment-Day-wise. ("But Lord! When did I ever see thee dangle a preposition, or misplace a modifier, or misuse an apostrophe, and not correct thee?")
After the 40 days are up, I'll probably go back to not doing anything about it. Maybe that's all right, and maybe I really do have more important things to do. Some people have a particularly strong devotion to Mary; some people are called to dedicate themselves to pro-life work; and some people are called to be lazy slobs (I hope, I hope!). Just because something is good doesn't mean it's for everybody.
But as long as I'm out there—I'll be there next Saturday, Oct. 9th, from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm—I hope you'll join me. If not Saturday, there are plenty of other empty slots, or slots filled with just one lone sucker.
And c'mon—we American Catholics have it pretty easy. Opportunities for getting honest-to-goodness reviled for what we believe aren't terribly easy to come by, these days. Not yet, anyway. So come get persecuted (a little) with me this Saturday. One or two people with signs just look like chumps. But a dozen people saying a rosary or singing a hymn? That'll really bug them.
You can reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org, or through my website.
Hope to see you there.