Some people accuse me of being too casual or not embracing certain Christmas traditions with enough rigor. To that I say, “Bah!”
I experienced many a terse family Christmas as a child where the expectation of perfection in dress and behavior was high, yet this was not expected of me any other time of the year. As an adult with children of my own, the most important thing about Christmas is going to Mass. The parties and dresses, the decorations and gifts are all wonderful, too, but I want to keep things in perspective. Here are a few things I’ve noticed since we’ve been hauling our children to enjoying Christmas services with our young children.
1. Go to Mass every Sunday: If attending Mass is a habit in your family, going to Mass on Christmas will be less of a extravaganza that you will feel the need to experience in other-worldly perfection. You will have already endured the distracted form of this sacrament. You will be filled with the grace of God that enables you to experience the celebration of this holy day for what it is: Christ’s birthday. And you will appreciate what it is not: the day your children get dressed to the nines, remaining clean and pressed until bedtime.
2. Have a strategy for dressing people: Dress yourself first and then move on to the children: oldest first, and then on to the youngest. This means that you might be sweating a bit after you wrestle your youngest into their tights and dresses, or miniature tuxedos and bow ties, but you can offer it up. There is no way for you to get the littles dressed and then while away your time in the bathroom primping and fixing and still return to a properly coiffed toddler.
If you plan on taking a photo, locate your camera BEFORE you get the littlest people dressed. Have it sitting beside you, if not hanging around your neck. Have everyone else ready and get them in their spots so that they are ready to receive the youngest and smile for the camera. This will insure that you have photographic proof of their Christmas attire. There might be tears and angst and some frowns, but don’t fret. And if you’re tempted to fret, try to remember the last time that you looked at that picture of yourself from your third Christmas. Do you even know where these pictures are? Probably not. Now they are able to go and be age-appropriate for the rest of the day and create memories that they will cherish for the rest of their lives.
3. Expect all the sinners and saints to come out of the woodwork: If you are following my first suggestion then, yes, you do come to Mass every Sunday. Yes, you do usually sit in that pew where you can go up and have your favorite priest place the Eucharist on your tongue. Yes, those unfamiliar folk are in “your spot.” Yes, she is wearing a plunging v-neck sparkly blouse to celebrate Mass. No, you don’t know whether or not they are a faithful parishioner.
And the kicker: No, you do not know whether or not they are in the proper state to receive Holy Communion, but you are free from the burden of worrying that they are following the rules (because you might spend all Mass judging your fellow celebrants, so look to the altar and meditate on His birth). Pray for everyone in attendance. Even if they’re not regulars, they or someone they know, think it’s important to be there. They will hear some Scripture and God’s word does not return void.
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Much wisdom and honesty in this post. I still after 19 years do not get them ready in the proper order. I am always in the bathroom at the last minute., after weekly wrestling with my 6-year-old and calling upon Dad’s help to lay down the law with what he will wear.
By taking them to mass every Sunday, even as much as you can bring the babies under 4, helps them to grow up with the mass, and model proper behavior from the start. This is impossible if always taking them to mass daycare room. The cry room is a welcome relief for chatterboxes, fidgeters and grumpy toddlers. But it is still part of the mass, and little guys will grow up knowing they were still there from the start.
Thank you for the insights and reminders!!
In the Cordelia household, we dress like it’s Christmas every Sunday–well, at least one girl in our household likes to wear a her Christmas formal dress at every mass. Actually, I’m being serious, we allow her to wear something dressy. Ever since we’ve all been dressing up for mass, no one complains because it’s the routine. Also, even the eight-year-old tries to tie his own tie–it’s not perfect but he’ll get it soon.
Going to midnight mass is kind of nice. Everyone has been dressed for hours before departure–makes getting out the door pretty stress free. (You can even put the little ones to bed in their mass clothes and then transfer them to their car seats when it’s time to leave.) If you want an uncrowded and quiet midnight mass experience, go to St. Joan of Arc this year, Greenway and 36th street (just East of the 51 freeway). It’s a more subdued Novus Ordo mass with Gregorarian chanted antiphons and at least one piece of sacred polyphony. My kids have plenty of room to spread out and sleep if necessary.
Love this!! Wise old mom that you are!!